Congratulations

Your words hit me like a ton of bricks and I almost die instantaneously
“I’m engaged…engaged…engaged and
I have a baby on the way…on the way…on the way”
Words echo in my mind and pierce me at the core.
Your unexpected news startles me as coldness settles into my being.
I want to tell you I miss how we use to lay awake at night
Tracing your soul with my fingertips, massaging your spirit.
But…I remain silent
Drifting off in a daydream
Of what use to be you and me.
What we should be.

But instead- I clutch the phone tighter as I choke on my tears
The pain of losing you rings loud in my ears.
Traces of us shattered right before my eyes
Fragmented pieces of our love is reminiscent of lost hope cascading over broken shores
And I am drowning in my ill-fated reality that you are no longer mine…
Our hearts and souls no longer intertwine.

Do you recall how you use to offer me your cup of thoughts
And I would eagerly drink just so I could be consumed with your ideas?
I want to jog your memory and summon you back to the past where our love dwelled.
I know our love was seemingly birthed before it’s time
But I am positive if given a second chance this would last.
Just think back and recall my touch…my heart…my caress
and maybe then you can
Reflect on the love we use to share.
And selfishly, I feel that what you’re telling me is unfair.
Because I taught you how to love
I nursed your bruised soul
I'm the one who found the code to those complicated combinations you used to lock away your heart.
It was I…don’t you remember?
Do you recollect the intensity we use to share? It’s still there…
Stop denying the truth
Can you honestly search within your soul and say that pieces of my being does not lay at the gateway to your heart?

“Hello?!”
Interrupts my thoughts.
I flinch because my name still rolls off the tip of your tongue.
I sit silently on the other end of the phone
In my mind I carved your name on a bullet because you were the last thing going through my mind
only to see the blood we bleed aren't the same,
Mines a mixture of alcohol and cocaine
not that I'm hooked on that stuff, just that i'm addicted to pain
But instead I find a way
to momentarily tuck away the pain
as I mumble
“Congratulations.”

© Byer S., 2009